splitbeak (splitbeak) wrote,
splitbeak
splitbeak

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The Virtues of Paganism

Top 13 Reasons to be a Pagan
Top 10 Reasons Why Witches Don't Worship Satan



Top 13 Reasons to be a Pagan


13. I live for persecution!
12. I'm a night person at heart
11. We respect our elders... and alders, and willows, and oaks...
10. I just love explaining that a pentagram is NOT evil
9. We do more after midnight than most people do all day (except college students)
8. Being burned at the stake is a great way to roast marshmallows
7. We can talk to Elvis (and he IS dead)
6. You live, you learn, you die, you forget... then you come back
5. Double the deities, double the fun!
4. We get more holidays
3. Brooms get great mileage
2. We were here first!
1. BELTAINE!!!


Top 10 Reasons Why Witches Don't Worship Satan


10. Scorch marks on the furniture wherever Satan manifests
9. Not even Lysol can mask the smell of brimstone
8. Hard to keep te flaming goat skulls lit
7. Decreased availability of blonde virgins
6. Blood stains from the sacrifices are IMPOSSIBLE to get out of the carpet
5. Wailing of the damned souls keeps the neighbors awake
4. The cats keep attacking Satan's tail, which always annoys him
3. Repeated stopping motions for administering the "Kiss of Shame" difficult on coven members with bad backs
2. Demons smell even worse than brimstone
1. IT"S IMPOSSIBLE TO WORSHIP SOMETHING THAT DOESN"T EXIST!!!
Tags: laughs, religion
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