splitbeak (splitbeak) wrote,
splitbeak
splitbeak

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Watching Clerks

So I'm sitting at my desk, watching Clerks I and Clerks 2 simultaneously on my tv and laptop (because I get way too bored watching one movie at a time-- I won't even mention all the other things I was doing while they were on) and I've decided I'm far too much like Dante for my own good. Randal's accusations towards Dante about how he's struggling to obtain a life that means nothing to him but he's determined to have anyway because he thinks everyone expects him to or everone else wants and therefore he should too are far too reminiscent of how I'm directing mine. I enjoy clerking, be it at the library or at my previous jobs, and wouldn't mind continuing the trade for the rest of my life. But everyone tells me it's awful and I'll regret it, or I'm too damn smart to waste my life doing that, etc etc. So here I am working my ass off at college (which is hilarious considering I was perfectly content to take the GED and jump into the work force early) while working two jobs because I can't stomach the concept of not working, and I can't quite understand why I'm fighting myself. Granted, it could be because it's after 1am on Sunday night and I'm still doing homework (yes, I can watch movies and write a lab at the same time, believe it or not), but I don't think so. I've never had any great ambitions, I don't plan on having to support a family, I don't want a big house or nice cars, so what the fuck do I need be fighting tooth and nail over? My biggest expenditure beyond groceries will probably be an annual vacation. Woohoo. The caste system is well and truly alive and kicking and I think I was definately born to the wrong station.
Tags: school, whining (aka real life), work
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