splitbeak (splitbeak) wrote,

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From the 'Duh! The Dumbest Things Ever Said or Done' Calendar

Jan. 3:
In Hollyweird

Years after the cowboy movie star Gene Autry retired from the big screen, he looked at how Hollywood was changing and commented, "Today you see girls doing on the screen what they used to do off the screen to get on screen."

Jan. 6:
In Hollyweird

Movie mogul Darryl Zanuck, the head of 20th Century Fox, made the mistake of asking the caustic wit Oscar Levant for his opinion of the studio's new film.
"I think the picture stinks," Levant replied.
"Who the hell are you to think the picture stinks?" Zanuck fumed.
Levant replied quite reasonably, "Who the hell do you have to be to think the picture stinks?"

Jan. 7:
Ask A Dumb Question

A woman wrote to Dear Abby asking, "Are birth control pills deductible on my income tax?"
Abby had a simple response: "Only if they don't work."

Jan. 8:
The Business of Stupidity

A reporter asked the famous lawyer Clarence Darrow if hard work was responsible for his success in court.
"I guess so," Darrow answered. "I was raised on a farm. One hot day I was packing down stacks of hay, and by noon I was totally exhausted. The next day, I left the farm, never to return, and I haven't done a day of hard work since."

Tags: duh!, laughs
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