splitbeak (splitbeak) wrote,

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Oh Look, More Jokes!

Because I'm really getting a kick outta this whole cleaning my room out thing.... Plus my sister made me a bunch of new icons that I'm eager to show off!

Newsday did a whole two page thing of "You Know You're From Long Island If..." and these are some of my favorites.

1. ... you say you live on Long Island instead of in Long Island.
2. ... your property taxes equal the cost of a new, midsized automobile.
3. ... you know that Glen Cove Road is in Mineola and Mineola Avenue is in Roslyn and Roslyn Road is in Westbury and Westbury Avenue is in Carle Place.
4. ... you know someone who has seen Billy Joel in Oyster Bay.
5. ... you went to Jahn's (ice cream parlor) on Hempstead Turnpike after a session at the "rolla" rink.
6. ... when directions to your house (or anywhere) begin with "Exit..."
7. ... you love Long Island for its proximity to Manhattan, but you rarely cross any bridges, so your E-Z Pass has a permanent $25 balance.
8. ... when worst comes to worst, there's always a diner open.
9. ... someone asks you, "How far is...," and you answer is time rather than distance.
10. ... you have the choice of dozens of beautiful beaches and you still own a swimming pool.
11. ... every rational voice inside you that talks about rent, phone bills, taxes, electricity, mortgages, politicians, health care, traffic or sun tells you to leave... and you still can't go.
12. ... you refer to Westchester County as Upstate.
13. ... there is no such thing as Downstate.
14. ... you know where "The End" is.
15. ... you know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
16. ... you're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.
17. ... you've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR (Long Island Rail Road). And it worked.
18. ... you've never really evaluated the meaning of the name Hicksville.
19. ... you've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
20. ... no, you don't want mustard on that burger!
21. ... you've never taken an MTA bus.
22. ... you don't see the big deal about the Hamptons.
23. ... you think if you're not from Long Island or New York City, you're not really from New York.
24. ... you don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City."
25. ... you curse. a lot.
26. ... if your parents didn't, your grandparents lived in the city.
27. ... you never want to "change at Jamaica."
28. ... you can correctly pronounce Hauppauge (Hah-pah-g), Commack (Co-mack), Islip (Ice-slip), Massapequa (Mass-a-pee-kwa).
29. ... there are no real bagels or pizza anywhere else (except The City).

Tags: laughs, ny
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